Reflecting upon the notion that violence hurts both the victim and the perpetrator, I couldn’t help but remember my reaction when my son told me about being roughed up by an older boy on the school bus.
His mother and I had always tried to convey the idea that violence is not an answer to violence and although I was proud of him when he told me he had not fought back, a part of me felt that it was slightly unfair that the other boy didn’t get a chance to feel the same physical pain that he had inflicted upon my son. Right away.
The reaction was automatic and came from some core place within me.
Contrast this to when I read about some form of violence taking place in the world and I am able to contemplate these actions in an objective way. I focus on the karmic nature of all violence and feel quite smug in my supposed enlightened thought process.
How to be able to put aside the usual reactions when the violence hits so close to home is something I’ve been striving to reach.
Possible answers that deserve further reflection:
Identifying with the other boy. I have no idea of what past torments this boy has endured. Nor do I have any knowledge of what future mistakes he will make that will cause him harm.
Analyzing the habitual reaction. These feelings of vengeance only caused the spiral of violence to continue because at that moment, I was only hurting myself.
Focusing on the positive feelings. The pride I felt was replaced rather quickly by anger and fear but if I could have allowed the positive feelings more time, perhaps the negative ones would have had less power.
Perhaps.
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