Change

Why do people use an external change, for example scenery, friends, or hairstyle, to affect an internal change?

What makes internal change so difficult but external relatively easy?

I don't have the answers.

I am searching just like you.

Continuing the story of A

It became too painful for a long time and simply stopped but I think it is time to tell the rest of the story. I will try to make it part of weekly practice as I don't think I can make it daily. Please forgive me.

Dream 9

Three of us at some sort of psychology group chat with a therapist. The therapist is fuzzy, not sure if man or woman but feels feminine. The lady between me and a dark skinned man tells us a story of loss. She is also indistinct expect for her blonde hair. It's not clear who she has lost but her voice clearly shows her to be in pain. The dark man consoles her with a story of his son. Turns out his cultural upbringing makes it hard for him to emote but he makes an impassioned speech to the lady. The therapist is still fuzzy, not reacting, but the blonde lady sniffs and seems calmer. My nose begins to bleed and suddenly I am walking on snow leaving a red trail behind me. I wake.

Dream 8

Walking through endless corridors, looks like a school, I'm looking for someone but can't find them. No panic, just lots of walking. Others are also walking. Calmly but all in the same general direction. Then all in the exact same direction. I'm still looking for someone, a girl. But I never find her. The school looks familiar, like the elementary school I attended but a thousand times bigger. Finally I feel like I'm nearing the exit or some sort of end but I still haven't found the girl. I wake.

Haiku 9

back from the deadly
society suicide
rat race, avoided