Big Guy

There are may levels of 'bigness'.

Spiritual, mental, physical and probably a few others I've missed.
I believe that being 'big' in one or two aspects creates 'bigness' in the overall person.

Or so I keep telling myself...

NIMBY

My backyard sometimes is just as bad as my neighbours, sometimes even worse. Lots of mosquitos. The thing is, my backyard is so small and insignificant in many ways, that it seems there is only my neighbour's backyard to talk and complain about. My neighbour's backyard takes up so much physical, mental and spiritual space that it sometime usurps any mindful thinking of my own backyard. I mean, my neighbour's backyard is so full of shubbery that I'm alnost certain that all the mosquitos are coming from there. And sometime I believe I like it that way. This also is not good. After all, I really have no idea where all these mosquitos are really coming from.

Primary

Why hasn't this story about Robert F. Kennedy Jr. suing Diebold, the makers of the election machines in Ohio, been given more notice in mainstream media? I mean, it's only about an election in the worlds' only remaining superpower. It's only about cheating and stealing, things we tell our children not to do...or do we? If you think that in todays corporate world, that things don't get done by politics and old-boys networks in spite of the Enron's of the world...well, just come work for my company and see the greed at a lower level...

Kindness

Sometimes, it's better to be kind than to be right.

Metempsychosis

Happy Bloomsday everyone! Enjoy it in spite of it all.

End Of Days

Slightly ironic that this is posted today of all days. And sad, too.

Attachment

Attachment can equal death.

Sad Day

There is one thing (probably among many) the neo-conservative and the terrorist has in common...they have both been brought up to look no farther than their own nose.

Sugar And Spice

I found myself telling my youngest daughter recently that sometimes little boys show that they like little girls in unusual ways, such as teasing them or calling them names. Then it struck me...might we be creating women who accept abuse (in at least its verbal form) later on in life by using such stories so early on...

Reasonably Unreasonable

Today I was told that I was being reasonably unreasonable. I assume they meant that my polite yet firm manner in saying no to a request was annoying the hell out of them. Suits me.

And You And I

The universe is not here for you or me. The universe just is. You and I, though, are here for each other and so we should act like it.

To A Friend

No one should have to be an emotional yo-yo for anyone. Stop giving that other person the control. Listen to yourself because you actually do know the difference between what is right and what is wrong; you just choose to ignore that voice. Just let go and it will find you.

Baser Nature

Sometimes the journey feels like one step forward, two steps back. I realize that this is as cliche as you can get but it is nevertheless true.

Tonight it felt more like ten steps back as my baser nature took control, no that's not right, better to be honest, I allowed my baser nature to come forward and manifest itself in all its (my) pre-historic, fight or flight glory.

I just wouldn't let go... and that can be very dangerous for all involved.

So, one way to deal with it is to own up: Yes, it was my fault.

Next is to examine why: Because I wanted a confrontation.

Next is to apologize, preferably publically: I'm sorry.

Last is to let it go: There, it's gone.

Crime As Art

KEVIN JACKSON: Certain parts of the book (Cocaine Nights) advance rather unorthodox ideas about crime: that crime cements a community and that, in more concrete terms, it can be seen as a kind of performance art.

JG BALLARD: Well, the main character has stumbled on a way of waking people up. Life for them becomes keener, sharper, and so these people become more prepared to explore their own imaginations. They’re no longer passive. I’m not suggesting we should all leave our doors unlocked; or that we should burgle our neighbours, who, enriched by the experience, will then bring the violin down from the attic and entertain us with a string quartet… Rather, I think we need to look at the world we inhabit and see how these social aggressions are manufactured. It may be that a civilised life comes at a price.

This monoculture that is emerging, a world of noisy, intruding horror: you just want to get on with what you’re doing, which is nothing. These security-suburbs are a way of shutting out the world, like static on a TV set. The British, especially, have retreated into their own homes. We’re obsessed with a material space where we can define all the elements that make up our lives."

Emphasis mine.

From an interview with J.G. Ballard, summer 1997.

Shared Humanity

Shared humanity.

The act of being human and all that conjures up is what we share.

The Punisher

In honour of X-Men 3 coming out in theaters and Superman ready to go later this summer, I thought it was time to get a little less serious.

So, what gritty comic book character are you?

The Greatest Game

Good. A Canadian team is in the Stanley Cup playoffs. As it should be. Go Oilers!

Division Of Attention Part 2

Another thought following from yesterday's experience:

How to not lose spontaneity which, in my mind, can be integral to a warm and pleasurable part of a communication process.

The division of attention and subsequent self-examination can make the interactions be in danger of having a robotic feel.

Division Of Attention

Easy, easy...My head was about to insert itself so far up my posterior that it was in danger of disappearing completely.

Stopping, having a part of myself (was it my consciousness? ego? my real self?) step outside of the conversation (time?) and observe what was happening helped to bring about the realization that I was being a) an ass, b) insufferable, c) a braggart, and d) really annoying. All at the same time.

So the steps taken were:

1: Have a part of myself stop participating in the interactions and step outside of the moment.
2: Observe myself as I was interacting.
3: Observe others in interaction with myself.
4: Make necessary changes to behaviour in accordance with previously defined rules. For simplicity's sake one golden rule was used: be polite.

That's when I started to change, almost a transformation as the inward change manifested itself in outward conduct and mannerisms. I realized that I was far happier this way even though I was far more interesting (I thought) the other way.

It was then remarkable how when I changed, the others changed as well. Sometimes the change was as subtle as a slight shifting in body position that looked like a release of tension and was confirmed as such through more overt examples such as smiles (quicker), hand gestures (more physical touching), tone of voice (slightly lower, less quivers) and eyes (more direct contact). Overall the interactions became somewhat smoother and slightly of more substance as people started to relax and trust.

Things still to do:

1: Understand which part of me stepped out of time (so to speak).
2: Practice this division of attention.
3: Further define the rules for behavior.

Sunshiny Day

After two solid weeks of cloudy skies and rain, I woke up to a shiny, sunny day. It's amazing what a little sunlight can do for your mood. Makes you wonder about attachment to things you can not control. Wow, my first post in the daylight hours in a very long time!

Today's listening pleasure: Holly Cole, The Best of the Holly Cole Trio. Love the power and yet subtlety in that voice, love the simplicity in the instrumentation that still drives the song forward, love the whole of the seemingly simplistic parts.